Life has gotten exceedingly hard. Deals are not happening. Things with Laura are a bit tough. Walk with God is horrible. He is missing. And, He is working on me. I have been so angry that I was ready to pop. I cussed more yesterday than the last 10 years. Wow.
I just gotta let go.
My letter to Jonathan after a cool chat with Chris Foster, who just happened to reach out to me this am. Fun how the LORD works it out of us.
Hey man,
I just love you. You are awesome and amazing.
God is definitely working on some stuff.
For me, He is working on surrender and doing things in the strength of man. I just had a buddy call me from ATL to tell me a story. He had sent me a text this am wondering how I was doing. I shared that things were very hard and told him all about it. Naturally, he had just come out of the exact stuff himself and had counsel on what was going on. The LORD is moving.
So, I am sorry for being mad and angry. I have gotten mad at you lately, and I dont want that between us. Will you please forgive me?
The two things that I see:
1) John has to LET GO. I also have to lower my expectations. I get mad when they dont get met. I place a yoke on me and anyone else. God is the deliverer. God is the provider. We can do all things through Christ… right? Well, I have been trying to do all things through John. I could expand on this enough to write a book, but I will leave it at this.
2) Fear can have no place in us. We cannot be afraid of coming in too high on our numbers. Man, I am not going to have the price discussion with you on every deal. You have to not be afraid of losing a deal. Our hourly rates are in line. We are in business because we solve people’s problems. This means that we have some kind of expertise that they do not. So, we need to propose what the remedy and cost is to fix their stuff and not be afraid that they will go somewhere else. God will bring our deals.
You had mentioned it yesterday with Promozation and them shopping other web guys. That is fear. Ultimately, you make the calls on delivery. I have to trust you and trust God working through you. You dont want me peering in on everything you do making comments about what bad things are going to happen if you dont do this or that. I dont either. I own sales and marketing, and the stuff falls on me. We have to trust. When it’s time to correct, we listen to each other and make corrections. We have done that on sales. Micromanagement comes out of fear of what will go wrong if we dont stay on top of it. It’s poison.
We both need to submit to God. We both need to surrender our stuff. Pray for me that I do.
We both need a revelation of love.
So, I prophesy love over you. I speak a blessing over you, and I give you freedom to be you and to do your best. And, I give you freedom to make mistakes and clean up the messes. I give you freedom to learn and grow. And, I declare that you belong to the LORD.