I have been a mess with Bridgeway. This email chain sums it up pretty well:
John,
Thank you for being frank with me. . . .at last. I have been worrying about you and holding you up in prayer since I first met you. YES, the Lord has something big for us to accomplish in this area. I too have felt all that you shared with me . . . coming at Karen and me! We are choosing to walk through it all. It is not fun at all, but God is calling us to the other side of the offenses so that we can soar. I have had so many people tell me that they are call to be a BIG P (Prophet) or it has been prophecied over them that they are to be or are already a BIG A (Apostle), so what am I going to do with their platform. All I can say to that being thrown in my face, is that you need to be a servant first, a lover second, and then you can walk in the office with integrity. The banner over us is not your name or my name or those asking that they be recognized as an Apostle or a Prophet, but the name of Jesus himself. None of us are going to miss our assignments, if we can take heart and not hold our offenses (I am talking to myself here). I know your heart, John. I too believe you are needed in this region to serve Him in a big way. Please don’t loose heart. He is perfecting us in all of this “stuff” that is swirling around us. I would like to stand with you and help you get to where He is calling you.
Your Brother,
Rick
From: John Stein | The Revenue Factory [mailto:john.stein@revenuelove.com]
Sent: Friday, February 17, 2012 10:25 AM
To: Rick Mann
Cc: Grant Stailey; Peter Young
Subject: Re: lunch
Hey Rick,
A small glimpse of what’s up:
First of all, I ask that you pray for me. You are correct, the LORD is moving, indeed.
The stuff (flesh and all):
Somewhere in the last couple of months, I have grown discontented with Bridgeway. The battle to get to Denver and all the tears cried and the prophetic words of destiny spoken have left me with a great desire to see all that God has and has spoken for me and my family come to pass. I have pressed and pressed and pressed in.
And, it hasnt happened – yet.
Well, I get to Denver and Bridgeway and try to engage. My aim was for leadership to judge my character and come to know my heart. I know the anointing that I walk in and know that God will reveal it as He desires. But, leadership needs to know me.
Somewhere in this, I got off track. I got an offense in my heart towards leadership because I am tired of going through yet another 12-week class on how to hear God’s voice. I have tried to serve, but I keep getting sent back to nursery school just to be able to do the work. Now, that is quite prideful. Bummer.
Add to that that the LORD has been speaking to me over and over (through the body) that I have been handcuffed, that I need to operate in my giftings, that I need to step out, etc. etc.
Well, that just got me all fired up. Because, Bridgeway doesnt have a place for me. And, I feel that Bridgeway is one of those parties that have put handcuffs on me. Hence, the offense.
But, that is out of order. There is no submission to authority in it. If I am asked to go through a certain program, I need to do that. And, I put a timeframe on when things should happen. Yea, that doesnt work so well.
I believe that there is truth in what I am sensing and observing about Bridgeway concerning folks like me. There is a gap that needs filling. But, right now, the plank in my eye needs to be dealt with.
So, I am fighting a spirit of discontentment that is driving me away from the church. I need to submit to Bridgeway leadership for as long as Bridgeway is home. And, I need to learn how to communicate with leadership with life that there are new avenues and new programs that need to be established so that the prophetic and prophetic leaders that the LORD is bringing in can soar to their fullest.
I dont know what that looks like probably because I have made this all about me, eh?
God has a funny way of bubbling stuff up to the surface to be dealt with.
All said, I am sorry for drawing offense against the leadership and for my pride in saying that, “I deserve such and such.”
I want to help the church however I can.
Will you please forgive me?
And, again, will you please pray for me?
As I was typing this, a lady who intercedes for me in ATL just called. Holy Spirit has been talking to her about me for a few days now. She had to tell me the story about how she had to take a 12-week training class at her church and how the matter was really about submission to authority, etc. etc. Funny. It was a class that she once taught.
I got the point.
I love the hearts of the people at Bridgeway and leadership. You guys are awesome.
Hopefully, this has caused no problems. If there is a mess for me to clean up, please let me know what it is, and I will deal with it.
LOVE
John
On Feb 17, 2012, at 8:26 AM, Rick Mann wrote:
John,
Next Thursday or Friday will work for me. I really enjoyed our lunch last time.
The Lord is on the move!
Rick
From: John Stein | The Revenue Factory [mailto:john.stein@revenuelove.com]
Sent: Thursday, February 16, 2012 10:33 PM
To: Rick Mann
Subject: lunc
Hey Rick,
Can we get lunch/dinner/coffee again real soon?
There is more that I need to talk to you about, it would appear.
I shared a little with you yesterday, but God seems to be working on something. Maybe you can help.
Please let me know when/if you have time. I am gone Monday through Weds next week. I will be up in Ft. Collins the whole time.
Can do tomorrow for lunch, anytime on Saturday, after church on Sunday, anytime next Thursday afternoon after 2:30pm or Friday at lunch say around 11:30.
I fly to ATL on March 3 and will be back on the 12th.
Thanks so much.