I am reading through Two Fleas and No Dog by Craig Hill. This book was written just for Laura and I. Man, can I see how the enemy has been at work in our marriage. I pray God that Laura will too.
Now, I have to deal with an uncomfortable matter. When I prayed with Jill a month ago, I got aroused. It freaked me out. So, I put up all kinds of barriers so that it wouldnt happen again, including not praying with her.
When I prayed for a husband and wife this week, the same thing happened. And, he had his hands on her, and I had my hands on his.
There is something messed up here. I am doing the right things in the natural to guard against any misdeeds.
But, what I am learning that is you cannot minister the Word of God when unity is broken in your marriage. I need to be ministering to Laura and getting our stuff healed first.
There is a huge void in my heart for intimacy. Laura has spoken so many words, curses and other negative stuff that my heart has shut down to her. I have no intimacy at all. That means that she doesnt either, and we are one. Well, that is a break in the armour. And, as much as I am doing the right things in the natural, there is a break in the spirit.
I cannot minister to another woman it would seem. At least, not now. I need to get my heart healed or at least, healing and get the intimacy thing in the right place so that other people are not filling a void that currently exists.
It is happening in the spirit even when I fight it in the natural.
Crazy and deep revelation.
God, heal our hearts.