There must be some attack against me. I am fighting hopelessness, despair and just plain wanting to give up. I dont really care about getting up and hanging out with the LORD in the am. I am just so tired of this walk. It’s gone on and on. Same stuff.
Bridgeway continues to be a thorn. I dont want it to be, but it is. Peter is awesome. Here is our email series, which sums things up.
Thanks for this. I really mean it.
Peter, as I said, I know and love your heart. It is your strongest quality. You are just so genuinely in love with God’s people and want all that the LORD has for Bridgeway, Denver and beyond. This is obvious. And, you pursue the LORD with abandon. Big things are happening – in the natural and spirit. The game is getting more serious.
I agree that there is a ton going on.
I love it that druids and others are showing up. Man, that is awesome. That gets me all fired up. Hell is taking notice. This is so great. You gotta be nuts to come into the presence of God like Bridgeway carries when you walk in darkness. It is going to change them every time. Nice. Yes, we need to learn how to handle that. Mostly, to me, it comes from identity and authority. There is no reason to fear or be intimidated. I really see it as a big confirmation that great things are happening at the church.
Lori and I talked at the end of the night. I think that we are good. I shared with her that I really am not in a position (my assessment) of praying for folks. What I am finding is that things are just touching the wrong nerves – or maybe not, and I need to learn to communicate better. I may have over responded to Lori. I felt that she was coming at me a bit overbearing with the badges thing and all, but I could have simply been kinder. But, we did talk. She knows more of what is going on inside of me right now. I believe that she is learning how to administer and not be religious. Yes to boundaries! Yes to safety when unknown folks come in. Great stuff.
I have emailed John and have asked to take an indefinite leave from the altar team. I am not sure if you were at lunch the other day yet when I shared how God keeps talking about healing my heart. I continue to get more prophetic words about that than I care to hear. But, it is true. I don’t know what this looks like, but I really need to get my own self more healthy so that I have good stuff to give and not what I feel that I am carrying right now. So, if that (my getting off team) comes back to you, please don’t think that it’s because I am mad or something. It mostly has to do with God wanting to heal my heart. I was starting to grow a bit concerned with the administration of that ministry. But, I see that it is more about breaking new ground. We can tend to want to control things when the unknown approaches us.
Did you see Danny Silk’s message on Fathering? It would be uncanny if you did not, given what you preached last week and all that the LORD is talking about. Here’s the link: http://www.bethel.tv/watch/1806/the-successive-covenant/2013/10/20
Finally, to expand on your thoughts on the music, I had a thought. What if the musicians ran the board or at least learned about it? When Keith was there, I noticed that he spent a lot of time working with Corbin getting the sound of each instrument exactly where it should be. I was wondering whether Tim, Tom or whomever, not being musicians that I know of, really don’t have the musical ear or background to get the sound where it needs to be. Is it a product of music rather than being a guy who knows how to run the software? Are the techs the right ones to say how loud an instrument should be? What do other churches do about this? Better yet, what does a Passion City Church or churches known for amazing music production do? Can we go visit them and learn?
To add remedy to this in some form, I asked Jack if he would volunteer his time to learn the board and then run it for others when he isn’t worshipping. He said that he would. You could get Tyler and some of the other risers to join in as well. It would seem to be beneficial to the kids coming up to understand that side of production to help make them better artists. That would then give Bridgeway a bigger pool of techs to draw from and alleviate what we were talking about at lunch the other day.
My Tuesday and Weds are wide open. You pick.
Let’s side a decent amount of time – whatever the LORD tells you.
Is your office free of distraction? I do not mind coming to the church to meet, if we can really focus on things. Otherwise, let’s pick whatever you feel is a good spot down your way.
Thank you.
John
On Oct 27, 2013, at 7:41 AM, Peter Young <peter@bridgeway.us> wrote:
Hi John,
Thanks for your candid note. I would like to meet. Next week, I could meet Tuesday afternoon, Wednesday morning or Thursday either before or after our group lunch. Let me know what might work.
On a second note – perhaps because you raised issues about Jack not being able to be heard and lack of excellence…. Last night I was on the floor when Jeff called for ministry time and when I got up, Lori McKinney caught me and said sorry to me that she had tweaked you by asking you to put on a badge and come up front. (John and Kathy have asked her to be in charge of altar ministry when they are absent.) I thought – great, we haven’t even talked yet.
I know Lori was perhaps overly concerned with lots of things last night. Gwen had expressed a concern she is exerting too much influence the other night as well. These past three night lots was going on. We have two people attending BridgeWay, who are new, and we don’t know yet who are going around like they are on ministry team praying for people with pretty significant manifestations that have made some they have ministered to and other people uncomfortable partly because their ministry has a bit of a show to it and identity wounding wrapped in. People are very spiritually sensitive to those who are ministry out of identity need. One was there last night doing her thing. Last night, we had a lady up front who had taken it upon herself to lead the congregation in dance and so was facing the audience. SHe bucked a suggestion from Andre that she turn around when Andre noticed several around were very uncomfortable. Even Jeff Collins, who is as free as they get, asked me who this lady was as he discerned she was out of order. When I asked her, she told me The Lord told her to lead the congregation in dance. We had a druid in Thursday night that gwen discerned sitting in the front row and she spend time just speaking blessing over his chants. Last night a guy came in with witchcraft all over him and he too sat in the front row. jess and Lori went over and stood between him and the stage. We had our video go out last night and the night before. So I know a little why Lori may was trying to get some people up front with badges. I will be calling a meeting with Lori, John and Kathy and some others to talk about how we settle down and handle with grace people that are either significantly out of order or have come in with enemy assignments and still maintain a culture of freedom and empowerment. Some angst may have been prompted by a family that announced they are leaving this week because the mixture of spiritual activity “disturbs them”.
I listened for Jack’s guitar last night – could not hear it well or at all the other night and see the volume is down. I also noticed that our worship leaders are not looking for opportunity to give him a lick. They also often mute key singers. All this to say, I am aware of a lot stirring up. I have some work to do to get with people to create a culture of safety, fathering, empowerment, freedom and excellence which we are all grappling with trying to fully understand what it looks like. it will take some time to press into some of the dynamics. I have approached John about me having a time for talking with his worship leaders and sound techs (which keep rotating in and out) about dynamics and sound issues which have been a subject of discussion for many year actually.
Peter
Sent from my iPad
On Oct 25, 2013, at 3:37 PM, John Stein <coloradostein@gmail.com> wrote:
Hey man,
I just love your heart for God! You are so amazing on how passionate you pursue what the LORD wants for you and the church. It’s so hard to pioneer new stuff.
And, I think that we should meet.
Yesterday was a bit uncanny when you were describing all of the stuff going on at the church with offended people, people leaving, etc. I believe that the LORD is really on something.
Recently, I have been one of those offended at the church and you as the leader and have been trying to make my way out (of offense and of the church). I have victory on the offense mostly. And, the LORD won’t let me out of the church. So, I stay. Lately I even found myself being one to grumble when talking to some friends because I didn’t know what to do and felt powerless and voiceless to bring any type of change. I repent of that mess.
When you started preaching about family, I got pissed because, if anything, I feel like Bridgeway has orphaned me. It’s been anything but fathering. Preaching it was hypocritical at first glance. The LORD won’t let me have a pity party though. He made it very clear that this is new revelation and that you are walking it out, learning it, getting more, etc. So, I celebrate what He is showing you. It is right on.
Practically, the mediocrity thing is a big deal and great example. Bridgeway will be known for excellence because our King is excellent. And, its excellence will attract others who are excellent.
I believe that He is teaching you how to lead in a new way, and this has to carry down to all leaders and to the Bridgeway culture. It’s critical, if you are to take your right place in the region. Because you will not be able to retain the major guns (those of excellence) that God is bringing to the church unless changes occur. They are coming. And, I believe that if these people (talents) get put into the ground, they will go somewhere else. There is a parable on this…
I found this to be my experience personally, and it is turning out to be the same with Jack. Just as an example, you wouldn’t believe all of the time that he spends practicing to play worship. It really sucks for him to come to church having sunk all of this heart into playing well, and you can’t even hear his guitar. And, he plays lead guitar. Last week, we thought that there was a mechanical problem, but it was the sound mix. This happens all of the time and speaks not of excellence. When Keith was there, the sound was fantastic, and people took note. I am not talking sound volume.
That boy is extremely talented. How long do you think it will be before he looks to go somewhere else?
I know that God uses us as barometers for what’s going on.
So, I would like to have some coffee and talk/pray through what’s going on, if it helps.
I know that you are busy.
By the way, I really love you and love who you are. I know your heart and intention. And, I know that you attract excellent people because you are excellent. You will finish the race well.
Just let me know what/if anything you want to do.
Peace and favor,
John Stein
720-213-6693
Peace and favor,
John Stein
720-213-6693