Today, we start the downhill climb on the fast. God ahs revealed so very much to me. Mostly, I have become a reproach to Him. His presence has long left me – probably when this started, but really, several months ago. I have failed in many areas:
– I did not look for the job like He said starting way back in December (19th)
– I relied too much on faith and not enough of my own actions (co-laboring)
– I preseumed on God
– I tried to accelerate His timetable
– My pride blew it in so many areas
– I didnt listen to Laura and others
– I figured that I know better than anyone else since I hear from Him
– I did not love Laura, chierish her, provide or protect
– I failed to model my children’s Heavenly Father
– I didnt love
Pride sucks. My control and relious strongholds have come down. I prayed them away last night. I bless God for freeing me from them.
i ahve to get a job. These next weeks are so crazy. We move my stuff out Friday. I must persevere on the job front. I have to do all that I can and trust God to do the rest. My heart is definitely with Marge and Ellen. I woudl very much like to work with them, and I see God’s hand in it. Plus, I have a great sense for Ellen’s spirit as being onw who really has walked closely and has great wisdom. i can only imagine what Wayne, her husband, is like. They could do great things to accelerate my own spiritual growth.
Laura and I prayed together last night. It was awesome. We poured our hearts out. She told me that the devil is going to tell me that she is not worth it. I believe this to be prophetic. I will seek out covering prayer. Father, open my eyes to the enemy’s attacks. Send angels to war on my behalf. Laura is worth it. She is a gift from You, and I will fight for her. I praise You, O Lord, for this time. It is hard, but You are doing a good work in me.
Please do not come down. Make me acceptable in Your sight and in Laura’s. Help us to love each other with Your love, Jesus. Protect out hearts. Put a hedge around us. For Your Name’s sake, deliver us. O God! My hope is You
Proverbs 27